Someone Cares
I have been on an unplanned hiatus from writing this newsletter. I haven’t felt inspired to write lately, and I’ve given myself permission to just not do it as 1) I’ve been at it for 2+ years and 2) it’s an optional, self-mandated part of my work.
A friend actually noticed that I hadn’t written in a while and asked me if I changed platforms, which was incredibly kind of her to let me know that she likes what I write and was wanting some more.
So I figure I’ll share an update with you. I shared a bit with you in early June about creating more time to rest and more time to enjoy being creative. Things haven’t changed! I’ve continued to find more time to let myself rest, to let myself create and to worry less about work. Somehow, somewhere, sometime- a long time ago- I began to believe that working was the most important part of myself, and I have lived up to that belief by working my ass off for the last 18 years. Hard work is good, but when we believe that it makes us who we are, I think it’s less good and more suspect. I’m trying- and its hard- to let go of some of that, to leave space for good work but not let it take over my life. To create space for non-work things. (In terms of work, this basically means I am super committed to a couple of amazing partners/clients and have been extremely discerning about everything else.)
I shared with you that I’ve been making ceramics… I’m obsessed. See some recent creations for my mom who requested two pasta bowls, and I ended up making 8 ‘dessert bowls’ and two pasta bowls. I love to make these things, even when I get them ‘wrong’ I just keep making more. It’s actually a huge relief to not have to execute something for someone else’s approval, just to make them for the pleasure and beauty of making them. It’s also satisfying to create a quantity and just keep going and to not have to wonder or care why. I continue to have the urge to just sit behind a potter’s wheel and make the biggest thing I can handle. It is so physical. I tried to throw the most clay I have to date- about 7 pounds- and it was like a battle. I was sweating and I was not victorious. But it just feels so damn good.
Massive shout out to John O’Donahue’s The Invisible Embrace of Beauty, a book (audiobook- highly recommend!) about the importance of beauty. This was something I needed to hear and have reinforced, as I’ve always, always, always believed in beauty, but it can feel hard to justify. Why do I need to go look at beautiful things to calm my mind? Why do I love colors and paintings? Some of us would say these things don’t really ‘matter’. But they matter on such a deep level to me, and John O’Donahue wrote a whole book about why beauty is important and necessary for all of us.
I kind of think of this period as a bit of a balancing moment from the last 2 years of ‘starting my own business hustle’. I have put myself out, out, out, extroverting all over the place. I am taking this time, this summer, to restore all of that energy that I’ve been spending. My energy bank account is low, but growing, and I’ll tell you one thing I’ve figured out: working does not fill it up!
I am hitting ‘send’ on this newsletter imagining many an eye roll from readers who have come to expect me to write on the circular economy, not on my personal meanderings and beliefs, but I know some of you also appreciate when I share how I'm doing, so this one’s for you!
Cynthia
